bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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