My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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