Who wears a wallet chain?!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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