I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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