I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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