It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
please come you make the beer taste better
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She's the barista slut.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
