mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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