I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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