I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
