i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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