Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
