I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
