that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
