You can't motorboat a personality
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
