Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The struggles of a small town man whore
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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