I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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