did you get engaged???
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
