Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize