Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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