I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
