You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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