Sorry, I don't speak sober.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
