Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
