btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
