Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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