my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
