he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
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We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
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I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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