Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
