Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
