we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
