i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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