how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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