Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?

(586): View more from Michigan

Cause it just destroys penises

(586): View more from Michigan

Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it

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(513): View more from Ohio

She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.

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Read it at the TFLN blog
(949): View more from California

You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?

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(304): View more from West Virginia

As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny

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(815): View more from Illinois

Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas

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(347): View more from New York

I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.

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(914): View more from New York

I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.

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