he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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