he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
