I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
