I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
