If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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