we made out on top of his cat.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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