My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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