I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
