I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
