Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
