He is an equal opportunity slut.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
