drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
