we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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