my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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