What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
