I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
