There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
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