I think scott just propositioned me for sex
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
