hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
