The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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