I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
