he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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