Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
