i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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