I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
