A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
