If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
