I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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