Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize