He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
we're so committed to being not committed
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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