wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I enjoy the company of your penis
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
