we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize