dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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