im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
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