Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
