her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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