i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
