Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
