No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize