Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
