Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
